The Soul Within
by iggy-spotter
Summary: The search for the last horcrux is taking its toll on the golden trio, especially harry. What will his reactions be when hermione tells him of her horrible findings? Will their friendship stand the test?


The Soul Within

"Hi Harry," Hermione said with what she hoped to be a cheerful voice, as she plopped down between Harry and Ron. Harry, however, immediately detected that something was not right, Hermione's unnaturally high voice, her furrowed forehead and the scrutinizing look she gave to him all gave it away.

"Hey Hermione," Harry said in a dry voice, "what's wrong?"

Hermione cleared her throat nervously, "Well, I'll, I'll get straight to the point then… it's about, 'bout…," Hermione seemed ready to burst into tears, "oh, please don't make me say it Harry," and collapsed into a sobbing heap.

"Just get on with it, Hermione," Harry snapped impatiently, he was not in a good mood recently, the task of finding and destroying the remaining Horcruxes had been much harder than he had anticipated. He turned to Ron for an exchange of exasperated looks, however, Ron's head was turned determinedly away, gazing at his shoe laces with unusual interest. Apparently, whatever is happening right now, Harry's the only one who's been kept in the dark.

Harry gave Hermione a hasty pat on the back, and said, a little kinder this time, "What is it, Hermione?"

Hermione suppressed a hiccup and continued with difficulty, "Harry, I need to talk to you about the Hor…horcruxes." She spattered the last word out with great difficulty.

Over the last few months that the Golden Trio had spent looking for the Horcuxes, Hermione and Ron had gradually developed a fear in the "H" word, the word that caused Harry so much pain, the word that is inexplicably related to Voldemort, the word the brought them onto the wild goose chase that seemed to last an eternity. Sure, destroying the first five Horcruxes had been easier than what they might have expected, but they still needed to find that last fragment of Voldemort's soul before they can go on to kill Voldemort himself, and that last Horcrux had taken them far too long. They looked everywhere, visited all the possible locations, Hermione even turned an entire library upside down in hope of coming across some information on ancient treasures and possessions that might have roused Voldemort's interest, all to no avail…

Upon hearing the "H" word, Harry's hand curled into a tight fist, his eyes hardened, and his next words came out in a harsh whisper, "We've been through this before, Hermione, I will not give up until Voldemort himself is dead, even if it means that I have to go with him!"

Ron frowned and said quietly, "Calm down mate, we've said that we'll stick to you no matter what, remember, and we will. Just hear Hermione out, will you?"

Harry took a big breath to calm himself down, and said, "go on Hermione."

"Well, remember what Dumbledore had told you? That the night V-Voldemort came to kill you, he was planning on making a Horcrux? Because he believed that in finishing you off, he would have killed a great potential enemy, and Voldemort, as we know, likes to collect trophies of his greatest triumphs. But he was thwarted." Hermione gushed, as though she couldn't wait to get it over and done with, "Then in the second year, you discovered that you could speak Parseltongue, the following years you realised that you could see into his mind, even see things from his point of view? Well, my theory is, and it's only a theory Harry, so it's very possible that I might be wrong, but it makes sense, that, whether on purpose or by accident, Voldemort had made _you_ a …"

"Horcrux," Harry muttered, finishing the sentence for Hermione. He was frowning in concentration, and his eyes seemed to bore a hole into the wooden table he was staring at. Yes, it all makes sense now, why the sorting hat wanted to put him into Slytherin, why he had access to Voldemort's mind, and why Voldemort wanted, so much, to kill this dangerous _Horcrux. _Harry now understand why Voldemort did not only hate Harry, but _feared him._ Yet somehow, Harry did not find this new piece of information disturbing at all, instead, he experienced a wonderful sensation of relief that he had not experienced for a very long time.

Hermione and Ron were now both gazing at Harry intently, as though they were staring at a very active volcano that might explode any moment. Harry was unusually quiet. He simply sat here and let the irony wash over him, yes, the irony, the Boy-who-lived now became the-boy-who-is-a-part-of-Voldemort, he found it deliciously funny, and could not suppress a grin.

"Are you alright mate?" Ron asked full of anxiety while Hermione felt for Harry's temperature with the back of her hand. The presence of his two best friends brought Harry back from his reverie.

"Yeah, what did you expect me to do?" Harry said with a light-hearted tone that surprised even himself, "throw a tantrum or go hysteric?" The silence that followed indicated that it was indeed what they had expected.

Harry gave them a lopsided grin, "Once upon a time, I was scared of death too, because I did not know it. On our last expedition together, Dumbledore told me that death is really just another adventure, and that people only fear it because it is the unknown. Ron, Hermione, think back, how can death still be unknown to me when it played such a huge part in my life? My parents, Cedric, Sirius, and finally Dumbledore, they showed me, and taught me about death. No," Harry shook his head, "I do not fear death at all, not now, not after what happened. So what if I was a Horcrux? Did you think that I'll spare Voldemort his life because he planted a part of his stupid soul in me? I need to finish Voldemort himself before I finish myself, though. I need to see the fear in Voldemort's eyes as he dies, I'll triumph, then die with my head held up high."

Ron had his head bent, his vivid red hair dancing in the wind. Hermione was biting her lips in an attempt to stop herself from crying. Both knew their friend too well to try and talk him out of it, yet knowing their days together are numbered is just too great to bear. Hermione broke down, flung her arms around Harry's neck and sobbed into his shoulders.

Harry meanwhile, was having trouble controlling his own emotions, he's not afraid of moving on, but leaving his friends filled his heart with pain. In a strained voice he said, "Why not enjoy life while we've still got the chance? C'mon Ron, Hermione, it's been a while since we last played Quidditch…"

_A/N: Thankyou for reading my first fanfic, now it's time to tell me what you think!_


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